Most Sex is Non-Consensual

There is no line between sex and rape while men hold the societal power

Sometimes I meet a man who wants to debate the existence of rape culture. “Men don’t even rape anymore,” he’ll say with conviction. “Men are the ones suffering now,” he’ll loudly proclaim. “Women are over represented in universities, earning more money, and don’t need men to provide!” he’ll shout. “Women can even DRIVE in Saudi Arabia!” he’ll yell with spit shooting from his mouth. “Men are oppressed,” he may grumble as he slumps back into his seat.

Unfortunately, men like this one are mistaking anecdotal success in the struggle for human rights with systemic cultural change. While (mostly wealthy and white) women in the most economically developed nations have made a little progress convincing men that blatantly raping someone is not okay — unless that man is a celebrity, a college athlete, or the president — , the majority of women around the world have been left behind. We must do more. We must demand an end not only to rape but to the conditions that precede and encourage it. We must demand that men do more than the bare minimum of listening to our stories and expressing sympathy. We need men to march with us, to write laws with us, and to be just as invested in dismantling the patriarchy as we are. We need men to commit to stop raping. We need men to commit to teach the next generation of men to stop raping. Even if it means a global shift in consciousness.

“In spite of hopes to the contrary, pornography and mass culture are working to collapse sexuality with rape, reinforcing the patterns of male dominance and female submission so that many young people believe this is simply the way sex is. This means that many of the rapists of the future will believe they are behaving within socially accepted norms.”
― Susan G. Cole

Rape culture is present in every inhabited region on earth and leads to things like arranged marriages, dowries, and child brides. It leads to female genital mutilation, female infanticides and female-specific abortions, and bride kidnappings. It leads to intimate partner violence and murder, human trafficking, honor killings, and of course, unwanted pregnancies. Rape culture in this country shows up in dress codes, date-rape drugs, college orientations that warn women not to get drunk, unwanted sexual…